Works of the flesh series: Jealousies

Updated: Dec 1, 2020


When my little sister came to the house and showed me that we were going to be sharing our parents’ love, I can say that I did not like those times a lot.

I was jealous, and there’s a photo of me that could somehow prove that.

I got over it, love sharing our parents love but, there are times when jealousy wants to stick its head into my life through other realms of it.

If a friend got something that we were both going for, jealousy tries to take over and sometimes it does. Sometimes I slap it back to the hole it came from and it stays there for a long time. Sometimes I let it fool me. . .

Jealousy is brought by the fear that something or someone you want will be or has been taken away from you. And then a darker emotion comes: anger or something worse.

Jealousy breaks relationships, your spirit and stirs up trouble. It stirs up division and, sometimes, the damage that we cannot control.

Just take a look at Abel and Cain. The other murdered his brother out of jealousy (Genesis 4:1-8).

Also, look at how intense things got when it was left known that Joseph was the favourite of Jacob (Genesis 37). His siblings got jealous of him and that jealousy got them to sell their own brother.

Now, there are ungrounded rumours in my house that sometimes favouritism takes place between my sister and I, and I can say, based on experience, that being jealous of someone else is just detrimental.

Yes, sometimes people say that a little friendly or sibling competition won't harm but, that's like playing with a spark and saying that it won't burn. Yeah, in the beginning, it might not show lots of damage but, as that spark grows, so does the damage inwards and outwards.

People start getting a heck lot of competitive and then they get salty when they "lose" and then sinful anger takes place, wrong thoughts makes waves and things get out of shape.

Competition is good, to some extent, but, it can be really bad to a huge extent and we need to remember that our lives are not a race.

I had, and sometimes still have, a hard time letting that sink in my life.

I'm not here to race with any of you.

I've got my own self to beat, every single day. My own self to surpass, not you or her, or the next top model Instagram will throw at me.

Life is not a competition, babes, and it took me a while to grasp that.

Just because she got something that I wanted doesn’t mean that my life is over. Maybe God closed that door because it wasn’t meant for me to open it, and maybe He has one which is better.

He already does. The doors to Heaven.

Don’t let yourself believe that life is a race where you see who comes up on top but yes a journey to the promised Kingdom of God.

We are to lift and guide each other to those doors and not try to tear each other down because the other seems to be shining more than us.

If your neighbour is shining more than you, thank God that He has allowed you to see Him bless that person’s life and be happy for them.

Your time will come.

There's also relationship jealousy.

I have heard this, and said it myself long ago:

"I’m jealous because I love him.”

After agreeing with myself that it didn't sound right, that jealousy (our human and flawed jealousy) isn't a sign a love but of mistrust and insecurities, at leastin my eyes.

For instance, let's say i am jealous of my non-existent boyfriend talking with other girls. If I were to be confident in our relationship, trusting him in it, I wouldn't be bothered by him talking to other girls. It would be like seeing him talk to anyone else BUT if I am bothered and I feel like he will be doing something he shouldn't, then that means that I don't trust him or feel secure about our relationship.

Now, I don't find it healthy or fair to be in a relationship where there is no trust. Nor in one where I am constantly in fear of losing my guy whenever he talks other girls.

I will risk it and say that it is kind of how I feel my relationship with God shouldn't be.

My relationship with God should be founded on trust, amongst many other things. I should trust Him to provide for me (Matthew 6:33), to protect me (1 Samuel 2:9) and to work for my very best (Romans 8:28). Additionally, I should not be threatened by Him having other relationships with His other children - It will be being selfish and self-centred.

God works for the best of all His children so, if He works for my best, He also works for your best.

Sometimes we feel left out, forgotten but, it is important to remember that God never ceases to work for the good of those who love Him.

The time will come when you will see the evidence of His work in your life but, while you wait for it, don't let yourself sulk because someone else has witnessed a blessing in their lives.

Rejoice with those who rejoice and weep with those who weep (Romans 12:15).

Don't let your jealousy cause you to sulk at someone else's success or to throw a party at someone else's failure.

Your time will come for God doesn't forget about His children. He never stops working (John 5:17).

God has got your back and your future. God has prepared things for you that no man has heard, thought or seen (1 Corinthians 2:9) and all you have to do is trust and love Him.

How to watch out for it?

Here are a few tips, some that I have been embracing, to keep me away from all types of jealousies:

  • Meditate deeply that a time will come when you will experience all the wonderful things God has in store for you.

  • Teach yourself to rejoice at your neighbour's success, not envy it.

  • Stop bloody comparing yourself to people. This life is not a race. We are not called to compare ourselves to one another but, to be the people has called us to be (not the person next to us) and serve Him well, not your hunger to be better than XYZ.

  • Learn to trust people and nurture healthy relationships.

  • PRAY! I'm someone who is reluctant on trusting people and even God, sometimes. I like controlling my life but, after much help from my friends and constantly asking God to help me trust Him more with my life, I believe that I am growing to let go and let God take charge of things, even if it is a little bit every day. So, urge you to pray to God that He help you trust Him more and get rid of any hidden traces of jealousy in you. We are all flawed and need His help more than ever.

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart. Never rely on what you think you know."
- Proverbs 3:5

Our minds are flawed and our views distorted sometimes so, we must not trust in what we know buy rely, with all that we have, on God.

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