• Nicole Rungo

The young woman's guide on investing in herself

Updated: Aug 12, 2021

College, friends, family, partners, LIFE!

Those are some of the things that we invest our time, emotions and energy in, but what about ourselves?

Are we investing enough time, love and energy in ourselves as much as we are in the things and people around us?

If you have been focusing too much on others and give little to no attention to yourself, these tips will help you invest a bit more in your growth:

Educate yourself

Educating yourself doesn't necessarily mean that you have to milk all your expenses on paying for a good university or getting access to a masterclass - though those can help as well.

No, you can educate yourself in various ways.

You can take online courses on platforms such as Udemy and Skillshare, read a bunch of books that touch what inspires you or just watch a bunch of YouTube videos that will help you get where you need to get.

You can even learn a lot from people, irrespective of their position in life.

If you listen close enough and look attentively, you will see that you can learn from anything, anyone and anywhere.


If you have too much going on in your life and you feel that there's just no time to squeeze in your own growth and personal projects, it is time for you to start getting rid of the clutter and some of the things you might want to start decluttering are:

Your digital life

With so many apps offering lots of different things, it is easy to pick up your phone and feel a wave of exhaustion by just looking at them and that's when you need to start thinking if you really need everything that you have in digital life.

You don't need to be on every social media platform out there or be subscribed to every blog that interests you or have all the games that were suggested to you.

You don't even need to have notifications activated for every single app that you know and I say that because notifications make your head go wild.

When you hear the 'ping'of a notification, your brain immediately screams 'We have to check that!' and when you are doing that for a bunch of notifications in a day, not only will it mess up your attention span but it might just drive you mad.

So, consider turning off your notifications and deleting the unnecessary apps.

And speaking of apps: ask yourself if you truly need to be following everyone you are following on social media?

Some of those people, businesses and organisations don't even help you grow up. They might be helping you decrease your self-esteem, increase your distractions and cluttering your digital life.

Your mind

Watch out for all the thoughts that you let stay rent-free in your head. They might actually do you more damage than you thought they could.

A way of organising your thoughts in a way that they won’t disturb your mental state, you should write them out in a journal or notebook. It will help you to know what you have been thinking about then you will figure out why you have such thoughts.

It’s important to know what you have been constantly thinking about to unlock the motivators behind those thoughts that seem to wear you down and have a grip on your peace of mind.

Sometimes, I find myself thinking about dark stuff, violent stuff that would prolly freak out my mum, a psychologist or anyone really.

When I have those thoughts, I feel guilty and ask myself why I keep going back to such thoughts and try to figure a way of breaking the patterns, when I find them.

Sometimes, when I get really pissed, I tend to go back to those thoughts so I find it very helpful when I shift them to something more gentle when I focus on calming myself when I pray. . . When I pretty much just shut those thoughts off.

The thing is, some thoughts just take up too much space in your mind when other beautiful could be there, making you happy instead of guilty, joyful instead of tired.

So, make an effort to be mindful of what you are thinking.

Your home

Messy space, messy mind.

A messy house can add up to a lot of stress in your life and require you to invest too much energy and time in dealing with it.

To stop hurting your eyes and messing up your brain, look around you and ask yourself:

What is important to stay and what is just taking up space?

Do you need all those stuffed animals on your bed?

Do you even wear all those shoes in your closet?

When was the last time you even read that book or even touched it?

Get rid of the things that are just taking up space in your house and feel your mind clearing up and thanking you for finally getting rid of the trash.

Reduce your commitments and relationships

A lot of times, our lives are too cluttered with all the things we need to do at home, work, school, in church and even our relationships that we don’t even have the time or energy to take care of ourselves.

If you feel like that, I say cut down some commitments.

Write all your commitments and really see which ones add value and bring you joy the most. This can be overwhelming and stressful, and it might even hurt to know that you have been wasting your life on things that don’t even matter to you but do it anyway.

Sometimes we just keep people around because we are used to them being around us and not because we need it or want it.

You need to understand that many people will come and go, and others will just stay to mess up your life so bad you will wish you would had cut them off your life a long time ago.

This might happen with family members and close friends.

Yes, just because that aunt changed your diapers when you were a toddler doesn’t mean that you have to keep her around even when she keeps insisting on manipulating you.

That cousin that used to be so close to you needs to be cut off if she keeps bullying you all the time.

That best friend of yours that keeps spreading rumours about you needs to be cut off as well.

Just because you have known them for centuries doesn’t mean that you have to keep them around, especially when they keep damaging your inner peace.

I learnt that the hard way and even confronted some of my family members on the reasons why they shouldn’t be surprised if I just keep myself away from them.

The truth hurts, reality sometimes does as well, but it needs to come out.

So, distance yourself from too many commitments and bad relationships.

Mind your finances

Both my parents are die-hard economists and being their child, I was drowned in many lessons about financial education.

They gave me books, my father made us (my sister and I) listen to financial education lessons on the radio, and they would give us budgets so that we knew how to manage our finances.

Even with all of that knowledge drilled into our minds, one would think that we are experts like them, but we are not.

At least I am not.

Even though I know how to handle my finances pretty well, I’ve got to admit that I still struggle with a few things here and there, like minimising needless spending.

I have to learn to budget better, to borrow some of God's self-control so that I don't spend on things that I don't need and I need to consider my emergency funds.

Maybe you are doing better off than me in those areas, but struggling to handle your finances in others and that's when I suggest that you take inventory and see where your money is flowing into.

After that, ask yourself what is a need, a want and how much you want to save and make sure to allocate a specific amount for each category.

Better try figuring out where your money is heading to now than to find it the hear way: when you are broke.

Look after your health

Health problems, even those tiny ones, can interfere with how you live and you are too young to be wasting your lives on bad health habits.

If you don't invest in your health right now, in a decade or even less, you might look back and wish that you had.

Poor health habits can add stress and overwhelm into your life, and that’s why you need to focus on taking care of your health.

And when I say health, I mean emotional, physical and mental health.

There are a lot of health professionals out there, and blogs too, that can help you figure out how to better take care of your health, and I think that this post will help you a bit.

Don’t rush yourself

Just because you see some 18 years old influencers or somebodies making 1 million dollars a year, going to exotic destinations and living an extravagant life, doesn’t mean that you have to be doing the same at the same age.

Life is not a race where you are required to have everything sorted out at a certain age.

Do you know how depressed I would be if I compared myself to a bunch of younger artists who have a quite better skill set than myself?

I would be in the pits! But, I am not because I don't like playing myself dirty like that.

I understand that those artists have worked their way to hone those skills and that just because we are of the same age, doesn’t mean that we should be doing the same things, much less with the same intensity.

Social media tends to rush people, making you feel like you should be a billionaire like Kylie by the age of 19 or a six-figure entrepreneur by the age of 21.

It doesn’t work like that and if you try rushing yourself to catch up with others, you will go nuts and feel so demotivated you might be a victim of depression and lots of stress.

Focus on your own pace and be happy with it. Learn to walk before you can run and you will see how simpler things will appear.

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