So, this post is being written out of the joy of someone who was so stuck believing that her season of singleness was just another waiting room for a greater one yet to come, namely, marriage but now, oh, things have changed.
Things have been changing in that perspective of mine that being single means waiting for a man to come and whisk me away into this wonderful, almost fairy-tale kind of relationship and that things would be far greater once I had a husband, once I had someone to wake up to every morning and love, to support me and take care of me.
For a long time, I thought that marriage was going to complete me and that this season of singleness was just me waiting for that other season BUT, I was wrong.
Of course, I was wrong.
As Lisa Bevere said:
"Singleness is a not a season of waiting but of doing,"
Singleness is just like any season - a season filled with purpose and many chances to grow - and me seeing it as a season to just stay stagnant and wait for prince charming was stealing the beauty of this amazing season because that is what this season is: Amazing!
And the lies I was pilling my heart and mind with were just that: lies.
Yes, marriage is a wonderful thing. A gift from God for us to enjoy and I am definitely not against God's gift.
But, singleness is a gift from God, too, and just because you are single, it doesn't mean that you are incomplete, that something is missing in you and that you need fixing from being single.
First and foremost, it is in Christ that we are made complete (Colossians 2:10), not in a spouse or whoever or whatever else out there. God, that is who makes us complete.
Secondly, being single is not a problem, a disease or something that we need saving from.
Let's not forget that our dear Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ was single, and He was missing nothing. Paul was single and still, he too saw singleness as a gift (verse).
Singleness is a gift from God just as much as marriage is and these are some of the perks of being a single Christian woman:
You have lots of undivided time to hang out with God
Unlike the married folks that have to serve both God and their spouses (1 Corinthians 7:32-34), the unmarried bunch gets to use their time undividedly for God and understand how to frow to be more holy both in body and spirit.
Not to say that married people stop seeking to grow closer to God or become more holy in body and spirit once they get married. No, that's not it.
The thing is that once you marry, it is no longer just God that your energies, efforts and service go to. The married person seeks to please both God and their spouse, while people like us, the single ones, can devote our full service to God, not having to divide our focus between pleasing our Heavenly Father and our husbands.
So, there's one advantage wee have over married people.
We have more undivided time to hang with God, get to know more of Him, get to understand how we become more holy, both in spirit and boy, by spending time with Him, reading His word and so forth.
You have time to get to know yourself better
Closely related to the point mentioned above, this one I will just take a stab at saying that the more you hang with God, the more you get to understand who you are, in Him and in the world.
Seeing that all people of God are to become more like God in Spirit (Ephesians 4:24), hanging out with God more will help us get there; for if we wish to become more like someone, we need to get to know more about that someone, who they are, how they are, and let them influence us into their image.
Therefore, when we have more undivided time to hang with God, comparatively with the married people, we have more time to get to know ourselves and the people we are to become because we are going to be hanging more with the One whose character we are to pursue.
Again, a married person can, and they do, get to hang out with God and have Him show them who they truly are and who they are to become.
Yet, as single people, we have more time to do so and we are to take full advantage of that.
You have more time to strengthen your other relationships
Seeing that married people have their time divided between God and their spouses, I believe that they have to stretch some of that time to cater to their other relationships.
As for us, single people, our first priority is God - just as it is to be for any Christian couple - but then we have more time to go and focus on other relationships, on our friends and families, instead of worrying about our husbands and our relationship with them.
Right now, as I cross to my twenties, I know that I will be introduced to more responsibilities and that the people I already have in my life will get to do the same. That said, I will have to strengthen our relationships in order that they don't grow unfed as more responsibilities come to my life, as more tasks and projects invade my schedule.
As single people, we have more time to focus on our yielding our relationships with our families and friends, while - as I believe, a married woman will have a bit of a harder time doing so for she also has her husband to yield a strong relationship with, and not forget to yield an ever-growing relationship with God as well.
So, the way I see it, the single person has more time to strengthen their relationship with God and other people that the married one who also has their spouse to think about.
You have more time and freedom to explore life
As a single person who is growing more passionate about being single and the opportunity that this season offers me, I have had many ideas of what to do in this season.
I have talked with friends about getting to visit places within Mozambique and South Africa, countries where I usually reside, or going out there and exploring other countries.
I have thought of going on mission trips by myself or with a friend or two, getting to explore places I have never been to, cultures different from mine and so many people. Getting to preach to people I don't know, in places I have never been, which is kinda scary but still exciting.
I have thought of doing a bunch of stuff around the world, while I am still single, that many married people probably wouldn't be able to do as much as myself due to lack of freedom and time to do so.
I have read and heard of stories/lives of married Christian couples who have travelled to many places as both missionaries and non-missionaries, explored new opportunities of life together and so forth.
That's just amazing. To be able to explore the world with your husband and still be able to serve God is just amazing.
However, how freely can a married woman go out on a mission or out exploring the world alone?
How freely can a married woman say "I will just pack my stuff today and tomorrow and jump into the first train/bus/plane to destination XYZ"?
Not as much as a single person - I believe - who has no husband to consult or worry about.
.When we get married, we are no longer just Nicole or Mariette or Janet or whoever else. We are Nicole and her husband, joint together as one (Matthew 19:4-6).
We can't just pack our bags and head to Guatemala or Monaco without consulting our husbands or, at the very least, letting them know, once we get married. We can't operate as if it was just us and no husband to care for, love and respect.
I know I would feel hurt if I woke up in the morning and my husband was not there because he had decided to just pack his stuff and take a joy trip with his friends to Côte d'Ivoire or something.
As married people, we can't just decide that we are going to travel to Belize and enjoy a nice trip with our girlfriends without taking into consideration our own husbands.
Yet, when we are single, we have no husband to consult with, no husband to worry about.
If God wills it, we can pack our stuff and go wherever we want to go to.
You have more time and freedom to serve others
Yes, married people still serve others for God and they serve God Himself, but they also serve their spouses while us, the single people, only have God and His people to serve.
As mentioned above, as married women, we cannot just up and leave our husbands in the middle of the day ort night and go to some other country to serve. WE have to talk things out and sometimes, things might not work out the way we intended them to.
Perhaps, we will have children ho will need us to stay home and ready to help them at any given moment or maybe our husbands will need our support in a certain situation and we will have to stay.
As married women, I doubt that we will have as much time and freedom to serve many people for the sake of God as we have now.
We will have God to serve, our husbands to serve, our children to serve and other responsibilities to adhere to. Serving others besides those already mentioned above will be possible, anything is possible with God, but we might not reach as many people as we can now with lots of freedom and time, away from marital and motherhood responsibilities.
So, don't let people tell you that being single is disastrous, nor is marriage, for they are both gifts from God and can be enjoyed beautifully.
Make the most of your single life as a Christian woman.
Check this out: How to enjoy being alone