In a world where identity crisis is a real matter, no cap, it’s hard to really tell who you are and who you want people to believe you are.
Well, good news for all of us babes that there's a cure for that, and it's called self-assessment.
We are going to go on a little adventure to find the woman that you truly are and at the end of all of this, I will leave a little something to help you note down everything you believe to fit the picture of your true self.
Alright, let’s do this.
What in the world is self-assessment?
I remember looking at the word and asking myself that question, but deep down knowing that it was something I wanted to address and I, glad I did because now I get to tell you what it is.
Self-assessment is a way to get to know about yourself by focusing on certain aspects that sculpture your identity.
There are a lot of aspects that can help you build the true you and now I will be showing you the ones that work out for me and that are good to build your identity.
Your values, morals and more
In a wrap, your values are things (even people) that you believe are important in the way you steer your life, work and so on.
Those babies define how you want to walk in life and what’s important in your life — what your priorities are and how you will measure if your life is turning the way you want it.
For instance, I value God and by that, I focus on living my life the way God wants me to live my life — following His commandments and listening to Him at all time.
I also value honesty, so I tend to live my life clinging to the truth as much as I can, even if it ends up hurting me or making me lose friends or something like that.
My values guide how I live my life, so it is important that you think about what really matters in your life and focus on staying close to those throughout it.
Your morals are pretty much the things that tell you what is wrong and what is right.
Let’s use me as an example: Lying is wrong for me so I stick to telling the truth.
Your morals pretty much lay down how you are going to behave and make decisions.
One common moral is that murder is wrong so typically people don’t go around shooting each other between the eyes.
You can also check what principles look like so to better define your foundations for your better self and life.
Your personality type
Your personality is like the combination of all your characteristics and qualities that make up your character.
Personality is pretty huge when it comes to knowing who you are and given that this touches a lot of Psychology matters that I still need to study, I will tell you how to know your personality in the simplest way I can.
Pretty much speaking, there are a bunch — a whole bunch — of personality types and if you want to know which one is yours, you can either go to sites like 16Personalities (Freakingly accurate if you are honest with it) or test yourself by asking a few questions such as:
Are you an Introvert or Extrovert? (I’m kind of an Ambivert 🙃)
Are you intuitive or a sensor (follow your instincts or use your senses to guide you through life?)
Are you a thinker or a feeler? (Logic comes first or emotions?)
There are more questions but I suggest you just take a personality test and strip yourself from all that hard work of researching what your traits may say about your personality type.
What are you interested in?
What captures your attention and focus, gets you are giddy and happy when you think about it?
As for yours truly, I’m interested in lots of things and that’s why I consider myself a multi-passionate person.
I’m interested in God, football (soccer for some), writing, art (more like concept art), entrepreneurship, minimalism, slow living and the list goes on.
I’m just not interested in cooking. We don’t really click.
My interests make living my life a whole lot better and they keep me happy, informed and entertained.
They help me with my health (mental, emotional and physical) and eventually on bettering myself.
‘Cause if you love what you do, you love how you feel and you love yourself.
If you don’t really know what you are interested in, my library has a list of interest and hobbies for you to look at and see if they say something about the person you are or want to be.
Looking at it, it’s pretty much that thing your parents used to say you are a natural at or you just suck at it.
For instance, I have always been interested in art (more into character design) since my early days and it’s safe to say that I am a natural at it.
I tend to learn art stuff at a pretty awesome rate more than I do when it comes to cooking.
My natural ability to study art is strong.
Let’s summarise this as your talents.
What are your talents? Are you a pro at border at least good at doing?
Are you a sports fan? A creative? A hobbyist? I've got news for you: Free membership to exclusive groups for young female sports fanatics, creatives and hobbyist.
Your preferred learning methods
I’m a strong visual and verbal learner.
It means that I learn faster and better when I see Illustrations of my study subject or read about it — sometimes hear about it.
I think I learn faster when I see graphics with comments or watch a whole movie about it or read about the topic I’m hand.
When it comes to listening, though, I kind of suck because eventually, I tend to drift away and start daydreaming. So, I tend to focus on taking notes or illustrating what I understand from what I’m studying.
Maybe you are like me, not that good of a listener or not that practical.
Or maybe you are a great listener or you need to do things to learn them.
You need to sit down and see what happens when you try to learn things by listening to, writing about, doing or illustrating them.
Your motivation factors
What are the things that motivate you to keep going in life, even through the hardest moments of it?
What motivates you to swallow the frogs of life?
For me, is God and at its greatness and my life goals as well.
I have dreams and goals for myself and every nation, dreams that I surely involve God in and make sure to consult Him if they are right for me.
I trust Him to work for the very best of my being, after all, He works for the good of those who love Him (Romans 8:28).
Some people are motivated by money, power and recognition, and I have to say that I struggle a lot with the recognition part.
I’ve come to accept and embrace the fact that I don’t need lots of money to be happy or immense power to feel whole.
I need God to keep me sane, joyful and faithful, pull me through everything that happens in my life because I know that I have to go through some hardships to go home, to stay with Him eternally.
The fact that God motivates me a lot to keep going, also builds how I live my life and see it through, even when lots of bad stuff happen to it.
There are most definitely things — factors — that help you go through horrible moments and those are the things that you should take in mind.
Are they healthy motivators?
I gotta say, having money as a motivation factor will probably drain your energies in a blink. No matter how much you attain, you will never have it all.
What motivates you to go through the hardships of life?
What motivates you to wake up and face the day?
It can be a what or a who, as long as you know that it steers you up to keep going.
Your fears and threats
It was sounding too good to be true, huh?
Yeah, but shame.
In order to acquaint yourself with who you are and love that woman, you need to recognise your threats and fears, for we all have them.
Your fears and threats determine how you go through life — to a certain extent — and they kind of control your thoughts which eventually control your actions.
Our fears help us to understand what keeps us grounded from facing a challenge or going for what we want, and it’s up to us to control them and not be their slaves.
You need to recognise your fears and threats then label them and then ask yourself why they exist in the first place.
From there on, focus on progressively detaching yourself from the emotional attachment you have to the reason why you are afraid in the first place.
I’m super glad that I don’t have many fears, barely have them, but one my fears is losing my little sister and I even feel tears coming as I think of it.
I recognise that I am afraid of losing her and I label that fear as simply My Sister’s Death and I know that I’m scared of losing her like that because, even though she pisses me off sometimes, I deeply love her.
After that, I accept that it will certainly happen and that it is in God’s plan to have it happen, however it does, and I focus on pulling out the bitterness of losing her and focus on loving her while I still can.
Recognise and overcome those fears, I know you are capable of.
And if one of your fears is social anxiety, I've got something that will help you out:
There will be lots of activities and even brief 1:1 meetings with me to help you overcome your fears and beat your threats.